"I am not looking for--" he cuts himself off, rephrases, "I do not know what I am looking for. I..." he shakes his head, more at himself than anything else, takes a breath, tries again without fully knowing what he's trying for. He hates this.
"That you would stand up for your friends is admirable and understandable," it seems like a complete subject change, but he will hold up a hand if Kai tries to interrupt. He's not sure where he's going with this, but he knows he's going somewhere. "I would expect nothing less. You have known them longer than most people have been alive, longer than I can truly comprehend. But you owe Sanja less than nothing. You owe Tenes nothing. You owed me only death. You risked yourself for all of us, even after you must have known." There's another long silence. He doesn't think he has anything to follow that up with, but he finds he's wrong,
"I know the kind of man I thought I was serving. I know the kind of man I wish to serve." It is the truth. It is a truth he doesn't realize the implications of until he says it, and he can do nothing in the moment but wear the shock of the realization bold on his face, another rarity.
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timeasmymeasure
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Date: 2025-06-17 03:59 pm (UTC)"That you would stand up for your friends is admirable and understandable," it seems like a complete subject change, but he will hold up a hand if Kai tries to interrupt. He's not sure where he's going with this, but he knows he's going somewhere. "I would expect nothing less. You have known them longer than most people have been alive, longer than I can truly comprehend. But you owe Sanja less than nothing. You owe Tenes nothing. You owed me only death. You risked yourself for all of us, even after you must have known." There's another long silence. He doesn't think he has anything to follow that up with, but he finds he's wrong,
"I know the kind of man I thought I was serving. I know the kind of man I wish to serve." It is the truth. It is a truth he doesn't realize the implications of until he says it, and he can do nothing in the moment but wear the shock of the realization bold on his face, another rarity.